Thursday, November 17, 2011

how to let go?

How do you let go
How do you say goodbye
How do you move on
How do you remember when all you want to do is forget
How can one day someone be here and in the next instant gone
How does it feel to know someone who meant so much to you is gone
The person you stayed up with every night with on the phone won't answer
No matter how many times you try to call
The person you spent every weekend of December 2010 with
Thanksgiving Christmas New Years Valentines day every holiday
 how can i remember with out it hurting so bad
How do you make this emptiness STOP

my question to you is how can you remember with out forgetting and with out hurting and with out crying. Its hard to replay the memories in my head and to relieve them one more time. or see that persons smile or here there voice or see a video of them anything when there no longer here, without it hurting. I don't know exactly how long it will take to not hurt and not feel empty, but i hope it  last a life time because if i feel the emptiness i know that something essential is missing in my life and  that is the people I've lost and loved so very much.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


See going to College and having a roomate thats not your sibling is alot different then "stranger". When i'm home and sharing my room its perfectly fine when my little sister and I aren't getting alone thats perfectly fine we can just fight about verbically Physically it doesnt matter after she is my sister. the most that will happen is that my mom would scream up the stairs to shut up and thats never anything important. after that we would go back to normal. NOT in college when you have a roomate and you guys happen to start not getting along, most likely they'll ignore you. They won't actually tell you something is wrong, they'll leave a  note, text you, and my favorite just not talk to you for a week. Completely pretend you don't exsist, make you feel so uncomfortable that you don't want to be anywhere near them. that's happening for me now my roomate hasn't really talked to me in a week and if she does its something awkward and nothing i want to hear about, or she does this fake shit when we have mutal friends that come around , around she'll talk to me. See i can't handle her how i'd handle my sister because im sure if i just went up to her and tackled her and hit her she wouldn't like that so much, and arguing will just rise the tention and make things work. i called my mom and she said just don't burn any bridges to late cuz this was a weak bridge as it was and it was a little shaky from the get go and soon this bridge will fall and i won't try and repair it what so ever.